When I Grow Up, I Want To Be . . .

(NOTE: It's good to be back. I've had a lot of things change personally that demanded I take some time for personal reflection, and actually a little bit of maintenance. During that time, I realized some thoughts and concerns have been living rent-free in the back of my mind for a while. It's eviction time. This won't be the last thing I write like this, but it won't exactly become a site theme, either. This is me not being entertaining, but just being real . . . for me. In all honesty, this isn't "Sleepless Colin" writing. This is Sean.)

This isn’t about jobs. It isn’t about careers.

It’s not about being astronauts, Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks, cowboys or President of the United States. Those are big things, granted. This is bigger.

What you do doesn’t define you. It speaks volumes about you. It can hint at your values, it can describe your paradigms and can even change you for better or worse. But it never defines you. That definition lies somewhere beneath, supporting everything.

What do I want to be? What I am never really changes. It can be hidden, obscured by battle scars, wounds, dents, dust and debris. But what we are never leaves once we define it and place our faith in it.

Do I want to be . . . “extraordinary”? Hm. Extra . . . ordinary. “Beyond ordinary.” Why should I care what defines ordinary? That’s far too subjective. It’s too fluid. That’s defining myself by someone else’s level. Screw that.

When I perform a dead-lift, does it have some material impact on me what the next guy at the rack lifts? Never. It never does. What he lifts won’t make me stronger. What I lift won’t make him stronger. It’s inconsequential. Odds are, we train differently, eat differently and maybe even have completely different builds. Sure, I can lift double my bodyweight on just about any given day. But I’m not a big man (5’9”, anywhere between 170 and 185 pounds, usually), so that may not seem like much to some. Likewise, I know guys with my height and weight who could probably lift about 50 percent more than I.

I respect that. But it ultimately doesn’t define who I am, what I achieve or how I approach what I do.

How about . . . “phenomenal”? Well, what is phenomenal, exactly? That’s somehow even more vague. That, to me, speaks to impressing somebody. That’s a path to misplaced priorities. I speak from experience.

Why care who I impress? I’ve many times steered myself off of good road trying too hard to impress people that I couldn’t see were inconsequential until I had the blinders off. The people I long hoped my blogs would eventually end up impressing, I’ve come to realize I probably should want nothing to do with because I ultimately can’t respect them. In the last year, I’ve learned some things about an early influence to how I write and my desire to generate an Internet media brand that frankly make me despise him. I wouldn’t have anything to do with him now, personally or professionally. The only thing left that I can respect is his talent. And ultimately, we can’t change to any significant degree how much talent for anything we all possess.

I will be . . . “electrifying.”

It’s a word often associated with one of my greatest personal influences, Dwayne Johnson. That’s right, snicker. The Rock.

It was always a phrase he associated with his character. “The most electrifying man in sports entertainment!” That’s because it’s active. It’s dynamic. It screams “change” and “impact.” It’s rooted in something that is really neither subjective nor deniable: causality.

“Electrifying” causes an effect. In any given sold-out arena since, oh, 1999 or so, when those throngs of fans heard “IF YA SAH-MELLLLLL . . .” the atmosphere became . . . electrified. The roar became deafening. I have been to professional sports events that haven’t even approached the explosion of excitement when Dwayne Johnson steps through a curtain and becomes The Rock. He changes the atmosphere when he enters any given arena at any given time.

That is electrifying. That is impact. But it goes beyond the reaction. He carved a niche for himself bigger than professional wrestling that few ever have, and none have on the level he’s achieved. He’s a Make A Wish Foundation legend and helps promote healthier lifestyle choices for parents and children through his The Rock Foundation charity – quite possibly the most electrifying things the former University of Miami All-American defensive end, multi-time WWE Champion and future WWE Hall of Famer has ever achieved. The world has been his spark’s conductor, and it’s carried the charge amazingly.

I want the things that I do to have a definite, undeniable impact. I want to be a game-changer. That doesn’t mean talking a big game. I can do that, and I often do. But it means I always want my actions to speak vastly louder than anything I could say. Being electrifying might be among the most liberating things one could be, because it's ceiling will never be talent-based, genetically-based, gender-based, creed-based, race-based, culture-based or based in anything else but the limits you give your desires. If you have the audacity to want something and make no bones about what you want, you can be truly electrifying. When I write a blog, I want it to generate views. I want it to generate buzz. I want comments. If you love it or you hate, either way, I have caused a reaction. I made you think for a moment.

When I write something for Geek Gems, nothing ever pleases me so much as high tweets and Facebook “likes”. That’s because I’ve sparked something. I’ve entertained somebody enough, informed them enough, that they passed it along and said “Check this out.”

If I review a movie and shred it, I hope that some laugh and others disagree. I want to be persuasive enough with what I say that I can win many over to my side, but the next best consolation is to start a conversation by making a sound point and having someone disagree. I’m bringing back mass communication’s inoculation theory: that unless your views and convictions are challenged, you’ll never be strong enough to defend them.

Make no mistake: this isn’t about popularity for me. Popularity is great. Being liked is, in fact, crucial to what I do. But the most important things lie beneath. The very worst sound I could possibly hear will never be “boo.” It’ll be silence. Wherever I write, whatever I do, I want it to be electrifying by being an example. That’s something distinctive. That’s something that echoes. That’s something truly remarkable, worth aspiring to be.

That is electrifying.

(While I’m at it, I don’t exaggerate that The Rock Foundation may rank among my favorite charities. I’ve you’ve ever chatted five minutes with me and seen the fire in my eyes when discussing health and fitness, you know that nothing frightens me in this world more than the possibility that the public will increasingly fund universal healthcare, despite more and more Americans taking worse care of themselves and hiking that shared burden.

Most of the most useful life lessons that have sunk in my life have been cemented in gyms, on basketball courts, in weight rooms and on treadmills. What Johnson does truly is valuable.

Please, visit www.djrockfoundation.org to learn how you can help this cause.)

Going With the Flo

I usually write about music that I like that nobody knows, or very few people know.  There is so much good quality music out there that is being ignored by the masses, and I’ve made it my job to present the internet public with my opinions on it, as it appears in my iTunes library in alphabetical order.  That trend sort of continues with the letter F, yet this is a band that has already gotten some moderate-level recognition in the States, and COULD possibly get more attention.  This is Florence and the Machine.

Florence Welch and her session musicians (called the Machine) released their debut disc Lungs in the UK in the summer of 2009.  It wasn’t until over a year later that they made their mark on the States, first with their music featured in the trailer for Eat, Pray, Love, and (rightfully) stealing the show at the 2010 MTV VMAs.  Since then, the public ands media appearances still occur, but not to the extent of more popular but less talented “stars” who thrive more on gimmicks.

So do Flo and her Machine deserve more mainstream attention?  Is Lungs an album full of audible art, or is it just not catchy or commercial enough to tussle with the perceived “big guns”?  And no, that was not a direct reference to Katy Perry’s whipped cream-vomiting bra.  Not really.

“Dog Days Are Over,” We open the album with the song that was used in the aforementioned Pray trailer, and the song that inspired a VMA performance that made Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, et al look like a bunch of circus rejects that failed to make the list of Water For Elephants extras.  The lilting ukulele, tambourine-infused cadence, and rich vocals against a production that made it sound like it was recorded in Westminster Abbey give the song a very majestic feel, and I really love the chorus of “Run fast for you mother, run fast for you father/Run for your children/For you sisters and brothers.”  A very energetic and uplifting tune.  Grade: A+.

“Raise it Up (Rabbit Heart),” This song has a bit of an 80s, Human League-type feel, with the synth and piano and vigorous snare drum cadence.  Flo’s voice gets a little lost in the production during the chorus, but it’s still a cool song.  Grade: B+

“I’m Not Calling You a Liar,” The slow, flowing hand-clapping beat is enough to get you swaying, and the subtle use of the harp make me feel like I’m listening to this song in a forest straight out of Stardust.  You think she’d make a video for this song and use Robert DeNiro dressed in drag?  No? Grade: A-

“Howl,” This is a song that sounds like it could have been used in Red Riding Hood…*chorus of boos*….kidding!  I’m kidding!  This song is above that trite of a film.  The eerie piano chords that kick in after a few seconds and stay throughout the song, coupled with the violin cadence, sounds just flat-out cool, and Flo basically, well, howls the chorus.  The live versions I’ve heard show cracks in Flo’s vocal armor, but the sound is just as big and bold, and the song is still a highlight of her shows.  Grade: A

“A Kiss With a Fist,” Flo has stated that this song is not about domestic violence, but the lyrics seem to suggest otherwise.  I mean, seriously…black eyes, beds on fire, kicking and slapping?  Yeesh.  I guess you could take it to mean that the relationship portrayed in the song thrives on violence and is at least not boring and dead, but that does not make it any less disturbing.  And the punk-like arrangement seems somewhat fitting for the lyrics. Grade: B

“Girl With One Eye,” This musical tale of revenge really showcases what Flo’s voice is capable of.  It’s mournful, scheming and blues-y, yet soulful at the same time.  Flo’s voice shows great range and nuances that are a little more covered-up in the other songs on the album, and that wail on “Cryyyyyyyyyyyyy!!”?  Rich and gorgeous.  Best song on the album. Grade: A+

“Drumming Song,” There is a lot of drumming here.  Literally and lyrically.  Those pounding tympanis are really resonant and overpower Flo in a few spots.  The repetitiveness of the chorus gets a little grating, but it’s a nice song, nonetheless. Grade: B

“Between Two Lungs,” I love how the choir in the background gradually swells throughout the song, especially when matched with an alternating tempo of djimbe, tambourine and hand-claps.  I hear a little She & Him influence in this song, and I like that. Grade: A

“Cosmic Love,” Another movie trailer song, as this one was used heavily in the Water for Elephants trailer, among TV promos for The Office, The Vampire Diaries, etc.  The harp, the tympanis, the keyboards…all of it comes together to form this gorgeous, space-like symphony that can be used as a majestic anthem for any big, momentous occasion.  The second-best on the album. Grade: A+

“My Boy Builds Coffins,”  From the majestic to the dark.  This song is, of course, about a coffin maker/undertaker.  It’s much more low-key and quiet, and the way Flo sings about making coffins for him, her, and the listener is spine-tingling and creepy.  And I think the point of this song is to remind us that death is inevitable for everyone.  Good to know.  Grade: B+

“Hurricane Drunk,” It seems that this song is the token drinking song on a British album.  Though the lyrics seem to subtly portray the setting of Mardi Gras, and the subject goes on a major Hurricane binge after seeing her boyfriend with another girl among the massive throngs of party-goers.  The tempo is a nice mid-tempo groove, and Flo’s voice, though not magnificent, powers nicely through it. Grade: B+

“Blind,” We go back to another big, anthemic song, though this one is much more ethereal and minor-key.  The violin riffs are really cool, but the rest of the song drags a little in places.  Grade: B

“You Got the Love,”  This is a cover of a song by 70s singer Candi Staton, and while it’s a nice, uplifting closer for the album, it also seems slightly out of place, as many of the elements that are showcased in the rest of the album are absent here.  Flo does, however, use more of her upper register and conquer the lyrics with gusto, but I think this song would have been put to better use in the middle of the album instead.  Grade: B.

And there you have it!  Lungs is one of my favorite albums of last year, and while I get excited to see it used in the mainstream media in one way or another, I do remain cautiously optimistic.  If the band does take off and become really well-known, I hope it doesn’t dumb down their music into commercial fluff crap.  It just needs to go with the Flo and let them be.

Recommended Tracks: "Cosmic Love," "Girl With One Eye," "Between Two Lungs," "Dog Days Are Over," "Howl"

Until next time....Long live the harp